Wanna Sound Australian? Say "Queet Plying & Bee Hive To Die." This May Also Come In Handy If You're Fending Off Russell Crowe at an Outback Steakhouse.

BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage: "My cousin bard my pickup truck." 

BOB WAR - noun. A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: "Ya'll better stay away from that bob war fence." 

DID - adjective. Not alive.
Usage: "He's did, Jim."

FARN - adjective. Not local.
Usage: "I reckon they must be from some farn country like Canada." 

RETARD - Verb. To stop working.
Usage: "My granpaw retard at age 65." 

 

Sadly, under the Presidency of George W. Bush, the Jackie Kennedy Rose Garden was soon replaced by the Jessica Simpson Water Slide & Bait Shop.

Australian Stereotype Convention Closes After Drunk Boomerang Wielding Kangaroo Forgets To Throw Another Shrimp On The Barbie!

 

 

Note:  If you don't scream or flinch during this video, I'll give you your money back!

And you can't mention Australia without a shout out to the Crocodile Hunter! 

We miss you, Steve Irwin!

Investigators have confirmed the existence of a Genetic Perfection Factory in Melbourne, where average people are transformed into sexy beasts and shipped to North America upon their release...

 

 

   

  

   

   

 

 Don't believe there's a factory? 

Here are some actual photos of Keith Urban & Nicole Kidman

BEFORE & AFTER they entered the building...

 

UPDATE:  The aforementioned kangaroo entered a rehab facility, got into shape and retired to a hedonistic life of beaches and vegemite. 

And to all the Aussie Hashtaggers, I say...

Good eye might!  Oops, I mean, G'day mate!